When Life Ghosts You
A few years ago, a buddy of mine ghosted me. If youâve never experienced this and are wondering, âIs that a weird feeling?â I assure you that it very much is. Texts went unanswered. Twitter exchanges disappeared. The usual social invites suddenly dried up. Without warning, our friendship got the Kylo Ren treatment and faded away.
Interestingly, what bugged me long afterward wasnât the loss of a friendship. It was that it didnât have a true ending. Instead, it just . . . stopped.
Stories need endings. We are, as the old clichĂ© goes, hardwired for story, and łÙłóČčłÙâs never more apparent than when something stops with no ending. The dissatisfaction of it gnaws at us. This is why people who go through breakups often feel such a strong hunger for âclosure.â On the surface, it looks like trying to get answers to the question âWhat happened?â But closure, at its root, is really us saying, âI need to feel like this has an ending.â
When part of our story ends abruptly, frustration, grief, and confusion follow quickly after. In the time of coronavirus, probably no one is feeling this more acutely than college studentsâparticularly seniors:
- graduation ceremonies canceled
- athletesâ end-of-year tournaments gone
- music recitals, theatre productions, capstone projects, year-end celebrations disappeared
- relationships with friends and professors paused, possibly forever
Just like that, the story of their year is done. If you aren't a student, maybe you've lost something that way too. What can you do when life ghosts you?
Ghosted on Good Friday
Good Friday, in this sense, is a ghost story. For the disciples, the crucifixion must have looked like such an abrupt, incoherent stop to Jesusâ story. All the miracles, all the teaching, all the prophecies and promises and hopes and âHosannasâ, now seemed all for nothing. Everything they thought they knew was gone. They would spend the rest of their lives wrestling with unanswered questions, sifting through their unfulfilled dreams. Theyâd forever wonder what this experience meant. And they would never have true closure.
In John 19:28, John records Jesusâ final seconds of life and one of his last decisions: âKnowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, âI am thirsty.ââ
Jesus is minutes away from death. The end is here. There is no longer any doubt, for onlooker or reader, that Jesusâ life is over. Even he seems to know it. Yet he says, âI am thirsty.â
How peculiar. To the crowd, it looks like nothing more than a pitiful attempt to squeeze the last drops of experience from a vanishing life. All their eyes show them is a whimpering rage against the dying of the light.
But their eyes are missing something. Another story is happening here, and Jesus is the only one who sees it. That curious phrase is the hope of Good Fridayâs ghost story.
Godâs Deeper Story
Since , God had been telling a story of redemption for his fallen world. Through his chosen people of Israel, he had been layering prophecy after prophecy through the ages, promise after promise over thousands of years, all pointing to a Messiah who would liberate a world held in the stranglehold of sin and death. It almost seems too good to be true. As Jesus hung there dying, it surely looked like it was.
But at the peak of his suffering, "knowing that everything had now been finished", Jesus is thinking about a kernel of a promise buried in Psalm 69:21: â[They] gave me vinegar for my thirst.â The soldiers handed Jesus a sponge soaked in sour wine, and with that, another part of Godâs story broke through into ours. Thatâs the story everyone else couldnât see. But itâs the one Jesus kept living, even with his dying breath.
Whatâs happening now with coronavirus, both on college campuses and in our everyday lives, feels a bit like getting ghosted. All around us, stories we took for grantedâjobs, school, relationships, safety and securityâare ending, snap, just like that. Itâs tempting to despair that łÙłóČčłÙâs the story weâre in.
On Good Friday, weâre invited to acknowledge the reality that sometimes life feels chaotic and incoherent, jumbled and stuttering. Things do end, unexpectedly, sometimes for no clear reason, and without resolution.
But we also get a glimpse of Godâs deeper, truer narrative at work, one that is anchored by the steel cables of his promises to the rock of his character and strength. In the midst of suffering, Jesus shows us that the story we see isnât the story weâre in.
Life will ghost us, somehow or someway. It is a tragic fact of the Fall that we know all too well, especially right now. Today, take heart: not even the heights of suffering could hide God's deeper story from Jesus, or from us. The Living Waterâs thirst was not a desperate cry of need. It was his strong grip, on our behalf, on Godâs unbreakable story whose ending will satisfy every plot twist we ever grieved or puzzled over. Forever.